We had a month of intense work, during which I opened and opened all the deeply hidden chests of blocks, fears, imposed ideas about myself, about my body. About what I think, feel, how it looks from the outside and feels from the inside.
This course became that delicious and much-needed final berry to complete the long journey called “what is this my own body.” And yes, many probably wouldn’t even think that I’ve been dealing with this topic for so long and so A LOT, but it’s true.
Now there will be mega-recognition. I'm a tadpole. More precisely, it was a tadpole. My life, my feelings, my decisions, my food, my schedule, my movement - everything was subordinated to the head and its decisions. My brain was deciding everything around the clock - from how I feel to what I should eat and when. If this sounds like the norm, it's not the norm. The brain did not take into account real sensations, sometimes (crossed out) very often it blocked what the body was trying to convey. That it is tired, that it is in pain, that it is cold or hungry. The brain lived according to the laws of war, devoting maximum resources to survival, and this was not beneficial.
The awareness of this state of affairs came last year and I began to deal with this topic. A lot of. I worked with psychologists, in sports, in examinations, in meditation, in yoga practices, I tried everything that came.
And here is the course “Body Landscapes”. Marka's tasks. And I... draw. I take pictures. I’m drawing again... We discuss drawings at online meetings with Marka and I... am drawing again. And I also feel, I observe myself and the world around me and see, feel, feel both myself and the world. I'm learning to breathe again, I'm starting to trust my body again, and my brain is beginning to perceive the body as a partner (and this is also a partnership). I'm never an artist, but this month I spent a ton of gouache, I got high on watercolors, I saw myself. I heard. I began to appreciate and love even more.
The machine course helped me to hear my body, feel it, and trust it. My drawings opened such secret rooms and chests that I not only didn’t suspect, I… forgot about them! With my mega-brain, I FORGOT about those painful events that my body continued to store.
And here the point is not entirely in the method itself. The point here is a combination of the method that Marka invented and developed and in Marka herself. The way she feels, the way she reveals the drawings, the precise way she asks questions - helps to see, hear, and realize many things, situations, and fears that were closed until that moment. She guides you through the meeting process so precisely that chests that have kept secrets for years, decades, fly into the light and reveal all their hidden corners.
I pulled out a bunch of pain, fears, and unnecessary garbage.
I pulled it all out and made room for myself.
For your feelings. For your own life.
It's hard for me to describe this in text, but it works. For those who don’t see, don’t feel their beauty, their feelings, and basically don’t feel themselves - here you are)